Bunny Bachelorette -- Part 1

Now that all the drama is out of the way, it's time for the fun stuff!

Sister Bunny rolled in to town one week before the wedding and managed to get together a kickin' bachelorette party while I was at work that day.

Keep in mind, we had several underage attendees and many others who don't drink, so our fun was (mostly) adrenaline generated.

The Bunny bridesmaids kept me in the dark about the party plans, so I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I showed up at my cousins house after work that Friday, and this is what I saw:


See those blankets tacked up along the ceiling? Yes, that is one GINORMOUS slumber-party style fort! Of course they focused the decor on blue and pink, the main wedding colors.

After oohing and aahhing at the amazing fort, the first thing on my agenda was to get my fancy duds on. My girls brought me a little something extra to wear, too!

Feather boas are so in this year, dahling.

The girls had some fun activities for us to do while we waited for everyone to show up ...


Coloring pages from princess coloring books. :) SO FUN. And old skool.


You can see how excited I was. And also what excellent color-ers my friends are.



They wrote me goofy and sweet notes on their pictures. I have them all saved and am going to scrapbook these at some point. (Whoever colored this thought it looked like swaddling clothes, I guess? Also note her frankenstein/skunk hair.)

Then it was time for me to surprise my girls right back. I got them all presents ...

Ring Pops! I figured if I got to enjoy my bling, they should get some too, right? Honey Bunny and Erma love a good ring pop.


As does Sister Bunny. Ooh la la!

Once everyone arrived, it was time to roll. Of course, the girls wanted to make sure I didn't know where we were headed, so they put some preventative measures in place.


Don't I look fantastic? Mr. Bunny says this is one of his favorite photos of me ever. Thanks, Mr. B. :P

I have to admit, I have a pretty good sense of direction, so even with the blindfold on, I had a fairly good idea of where we were headed. They had to take some extra turns to throw me off.

P.S. Like my Pretty Pretty Princess crown? I loved that game when I was a kid, so Honey Bunny and I bought a new version a couple years ago just for kicks.

This is getting really long, so you're going to have to wait to find out where we ended up. Any guesses? All I'm going to say is that this party was right up my alley. :)

BBC pause: Anxiety, Fear and the Holy Spirit

I feel the need to explain a little more thoroughly about the role that my religious beliefs played in Runaway Bride, Parts I and II.

You already know that I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder about a year before our wedding. It was a huge step for me to recognize that most of the time, what I was feeling was anxiety based in physiology and not much else.

Many types of modern Christian thinking put a lot of emphasis on "experiencing God" -- letting spirituality touch our emotions. That's not a bad thing. I've had some beautiful sprititual-emotional experiences.

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But too often, even after my diagnosis, I've let my tendency toward anxiety and emotions overtake my more rational side. At times, I've wrongly believed what I was feeling was what some Christians would call "the leading of the Holy Spirit," when in fact, what was going on was nothing more than wishful thinking or just plain old cold feet.

I don't believe that the pastor's message on Father's Day Sunday and Mr. Bunny's absence from church was a sign from God that we weren't meant to be together. It just was an incident that reinforced one of the fears I had about our relationship. I gave that fear too much power -- so much that I believed it was from God.

This quote from the book Julie of the Wolves has stuck with me through the years, and I've given it far too much weight in my life:

"When fear seizes, change what you are doing. You are doing something wrong.”

I disagree. Feeling afraid doesn't necessarily mean you are doing something wrong. Feeling afraid means you are feeling afraid. Running from whatever it is you are afraid of isn't necessarily the answer. Sometimes, the solution instead is to drain fear of its power by acknowledging it, confronting it head on, and analyzing it.

Talking to Mr. Bunny, hearing his response to my concerns, seeing how sensitive he was to me -- these things were all enough to calm my heart and helped me know that Mr. B would be a willing partner as we worked on our relationship with God and with each other in the coming years.

There's not much more I can say on the subject. It all comes down to your personal beliefs about God and psychology. I can only tell you my own experience and let you know that not once since Mr. Bunny and I got married have I questioned whether I made the right choice. I love him more and more every day, and I'm convinced that I'm right in the center of where God wants me to be.

BBC: Runaway Bride, Part II (14 days)

(Read Part I)

This two-part post is called Runaway Bride, but at this point in the story, I looked more like this

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than like this.

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I was standing in Mr. Bunny's living room with tears streaming down my face, ready to break up with him.

I'd practiced my speech, but I was unable to say anything. All I could do was cry and hold out the engagement ring.

He sat up, confused. He was, as I recall, gentle.

"What's wrong, honey? Tell me what's wrong?"

He wouldn't take the ring. He tried to make me put it back on, but I wouldn't. I set it on the coffee table.

Together, we went outside and sat on his front porch. At some point, I wrested control of my emotions enough to explain the story.

Mr. B sat silently and listened to my tale -- how I sat in church waiting and waiting for him as the pastor preached about being a man of God ... and he wasn't there to stand up.

As I spoke, I saw Mr. Bunny's face soften.

"I'm sorry, hon. I can only imagine how that must have felt. To be waiting for me while the pastor said those things. And I was at home asleep."

He said he wanted to be that man standing up at the front of the church. And that he'd gone to bed early so that he would wake up in time to meet me, only he didn't wake up. I could see that he felt awful about what happened

It wasn't enough, of course, for him to say that. I kissed him and told him I loved him, but I wouldn't put that ring back on. Not yet.

I didn't want to face the questions from friends and family, so together we made a plan that we'd say he needed to take my engagement ring to be engraved (that actually was our original plan, since my wedding band is 3/4 open work). Instead, I wore my wedding band while Mr. Bunny and I talked and prayed about whether getting married was the right thing to do. I'm so sorry I lied to you, hive, but at the time, I couldn't live up to what was really going on.

Four days later he got down on one knee (for the first time, by the way ;) ) and asked again. And I said yes ... again.

I'd remembered what it was that drew me to Mr. B in the first place -- not that he was the perfect man that I always thought I would marry, but that he longs to be that man. He's a person who loves me, and who wants to walk through life with me, striving together to be the people that God wants us BOTH to be.

Because in spite of all the tears, all the indecision, all the times he thought I was going to cut off contact with him for good, Mr. Bunny never stopped loving me in all the best ways. He was never mean, never impatient, never once raised his voice at me, or told me I was being ridiculous, or acted angry for keeping him in limbo. I knew he was the right man because of these things, not because he shows up for church on Sundays.

And that's why I married Mr. B. He is the perfect husband for me, and I will kick your booty if you try to tell me otherwise. ;)

photo by Julian Allen

Previously, on the Bunny Bridal Countdown:

The Showers (30+ days)
Dress disaster (28 days)
Dress decision (25 days)
Bunny goes Playboy (23 days)
Cake-speriments, Part I (23 days)
Cake-speriments, Part II
Hoppin’ to my hairdo
The part where everything went wrong
Runaway Bride, Part I

BBC: Runaway Bride, Part I (14 days)

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This was me, two weeks before my wedding day.

Ok, so remember way back when I was still a new blogger here, before I got married?

I wrote this big, long post about how Mr. Bunny and I were fantastic together, even though I was very doubtful of our relationship at times. And how it was mostly about me and my anxiety disorder, not about Mr. Bunny.

Well, I have a confession.

*ahem*

Two days after I wrote that post -- the one that so many of you thanked me for writing -- I drove over to Mr. B's apartment, stood before him in tears, and handed back my engagement ring.

Here's the story:

We went our separate ways on Saturday night, saying we'd meet up for church the next morning, Father's Day. That morning, I was in church. Mr. Bunny was not. The sermon, it turned out, was about being a man of God, the one quality I most wanted in a husband. At the end, the pastor called for the men in the congregation who wanted to be better husbands and fathers to come forward for prayer.

I sat motionless, refusing to turn my head, praying that my fiance had slipped into the sanctuary a few minutes later than I. I wanted to see him come forward and ask for prayer. I was looking for a confirmation that Mr. B was indeed "Mr. Right" -- the man God had for me.

This might sound stupid to those of you who aren't spiritual or religious, but I firmly believed in that moment that if he didn't come forward, it was a sign that we weren't meant to be together. That we never should have been.

He never came forward.

I cried the whole way to his apartment, steeling myself for what was to come. I prepared myself for his tears, for begging. I readied my explanation for why I was breaking up with him -- for real this time.

And then I was there, standing over him, holding out the ring with tears streaming down my face.

He was asleep on his living room sofa while my heart was breaking. I had to say his name loudly to wake him.

And then he opened his eyes and sat up, and I prepared to launch into the most difficult speech I think I'll ever give in my life.

To be continued ...

Previously, on the Bunny Bridal Countdown:

The Showers (30+ days)
Dress disaster (28 days)
Dress decision (25 days)
Bunny goes Playboy (23 days)
Cake-speriments, Part I (23 days)
Cake-speriments, Part II
Hoppin' to my hairdo
The part where everything went wrong

BBC: The part where everything went wrong (17 days)

Alright. I've stalled out in telling you the story of the Bunny Bridal Countdown, leaving you in suspense after my hair trial, 18 days away from my wedding. I'm sorry.

But there's a good reason for why I've avoided the next step in my tale for so long. This is the part where everything started to go wrong. *covers face in hands*

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I could blame it on a lot of things. For one, my little brother had a very serious health issue in the months leading up to our wedding and my family was focused, more than anything, on getting him better. A lot of my DIY projects, started with great intentions, fell by the wayside, only to be remembered in the hustle and bustle of the last two weeks.

Second, with so much stress, not even my standard levels of medication were enough to combat the anxiety I was experiencing. I feel so, so bad for what Mr. Bunny had to endure during the last two weeks before our wedding. I was totally irrational, overly weepy and basically a total mess. He was a total gentleman through it all, of course.

What exactly went down? Here's one example:

A routine call to check in with my florist revealed that we had failed to order any centerpieces at all.

WHAT?!

I guess we'd said when we originally talked to her that we'd discuss them later, but apparently we never got around to it. Oops. After a 5 minute panic attack and emergency phone call to my mother, we decided to semi-DIY centerpieces using white roses from Costco. *whew* Problem solved.

There is SO much less drama in that paragraph than there was surrounding that incident in real life. Honestly, it exhausts me just thinking about how worked up I was during those last two weeks.

In my next post, I'll tell you the story about how Mr. Bunny and I almost didn't get married. Yep. Seriously. Just you wait, folks. It's a doozy.

Previously, on the Bunny Bridal Countdown:

The Showers (30+ days)
Dress disaster (28 days)
Dress decision (25 days)
Bunny goes Playboy (23 days)
Cake-speriments, Part I (23 days)
Cake-speriments, Part II
Hoppin' to my hairdo

BBC: Hoppin’ to my Hair-do (18 days)

*sings*
It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the riiiiiight ... Let's do the time warp again!

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(Only 18 days left in the Bunny Bridal Countdown, but don't worry. That doesn't mean 18 posts. We'll get to the good stuff soon, I promise!)

Hair was also one of the items on my bridal to do list that I put off until the last minute (OK, the last month).

Fortunately, I'd made some plans in advance -- plans to get my wedding day hair done for free!

Thanks to Mrs. Joey, I decided to turn to the wondrous site known as Craigslist to find a hairstylist who would be willing to work with my budget of ... nothing.

Well, not exactly nothing. I posted an ad in the "Barter" section of the site, offering my services as a photographer (not pro, just skilled amateur) in exchange for a sweet wedding day do!

The woman who responded to my ad told me she had experience doing hair, even wedding hair, but that she's a florist. We agreed that I'd take pictures of some bouquets and she would do my hair.

Of course, I wasn't ready to trust her without a trial, and I didn't expect her to trust me either. A hair/photo trial was definitely in order.

I knew I wanted a low bun, but something a little more intricate than I could do on my own. With those vague directions, my new friend went to work.


Bingo! Lovely and secure. I think she used a whole paper full of bobby pins and a whole can of hairspray, but it was pretty stable. Miraculous, if you ask me. My hair is notorious for it's ability to weasel out of whatever constraints I put on it.

The bangs, I decided, needed some help. But I would work on that later.

Then it was time for me to prove my worth. We did the hair trial in the florist's store front, so I snapped a few quick pics of her (fake) display bouquets.



She seemed satisfied, so we shook on it and agreed that she'd come to my parents' house on my wedding day to style my hair.

Thank you, Craigslist! Anyone else been inspired by the budget-saving powers of Craig?

Previously, on the BBC:
Bunny Bridal Countdown: The Showers (30+ days)
Bunny Bridal Countdown: Dress disaster (28 days)
Bunny Bridal Countdown: Dress decision (25 days)
Bunny Bridal Countdown: Bunny goes Playboy (23 days)
Bunny Bridal Countdown: Cake-speriments, Part I (23 days)
Bunny Bridal Countdown: Cake-speriments, Part II

Dealing with an univited relative

A few days before our wedding, I found out there'd be an unexpected guest. Oh yes, ladies, you know who I mean.

Good ole' Aunt Flo decided to show up two or three days out. Lovely.

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For those of you on birth control, you've probably thought ahead. Lucky you! You can plan your monthly visits ahead of time and control when Flo shows up. Pretty sure you're not planning on inviting her to the wedding, are ya?

For various reasons which are hardly relevant to this discussion, I was not on BC at the time (though I am now). Thus, I was forced to deal with Flo's unwelcome presence at our nuptuals.

I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I have this unfortuate issue with leaks. NO FUN. No matter what kind of protection I wear during Flo's visit, it always seems to fail me one way or another. Pads shift around, leaving swaths of panty unprotected. Tampons leak, forcing me to wear a backup pad. What's the point of a tampon if you have to wear a pad, too?! Ugh.

For years, I've dealt with the hassels brought on by my monthly visitor -- soaking my undies in water to remove stains, pitching the ones that weren't salvageable.

But to chance it on my wedding day? When I'm wearing my pristine white dress? I DON'T THINK SO. There was no way in heck that I was going to deal with Flo's messiness while wearing my wedding dress.

Enter the Diva Cup.

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*cue angel choir*

I'd been reading about this cute little silicone cup for over a year. The idea of inserting a cup *up there* initially skeeved me out, the more I read about it (just Google it!), the more I liked the idea.

Listen to me close, peeps. When positioned properly (which isn't too difficult), the Diva Cup keeps you 100 percent leak free. That's right. NO LEAKS. NONE.

Additionally, you only have to empty that sucker every 8 to 12 hours. No more having to change your tampon or pad in a public restroom. You can wait til you're back in your own home to deal with your private stuff.

Plus it's less expensive than buying pads and 'pons for the rest of your life. One purchase of about $20 covers you for years!

My main concern was for comfort. I was worried I'd walk around all day in pain and discomfort. But I took a quick jaunt to Whole Foods the day before our nuptuals to pick up a cup, thinking I'd at least try it for the rehearsal dinner to test how it felt once positioned.

It took a few tries, but following the directions provided in the box yielded a fantastic fit. It was no less comfortable than a tampon, for sure. And though I wore a pad just in case on the day of the rehearsal dinner, I felt free enough to go without on our wedding day. *Happy dance!*

The little cup did it's duty for several days of our honeymoon, too. All my new honeymoon clothing and lingere was safe from Flo! Thank you, Diva Cup. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. I will never go back!

(Also I swear Diva Cup has not given me anything for this glowing review. I just love mine THAT MUCH.)

How are you dealing with the potential for Aunt Flo to show up at your wedding? Are you messing with your monthly schedule or taking extra precautions to guard against leaks?